How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
