apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
