Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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