Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
