I am puke
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She told me I should be a condom model.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
