im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
