you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did I show you my penis last night?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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