ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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