im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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