He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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