Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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