Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
