I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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