the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
