You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
