I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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