you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
