I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
