where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
