I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
