seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
