here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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