in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
