Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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