I'm going to jail i love you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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