it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
