Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
