Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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