i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
