jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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