thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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