im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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