sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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