when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
