if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
