oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
