So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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