this beer tastes like vomit already
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i came on her dog
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
