i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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