I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I understand Curling. That high.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
