I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
