Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
