Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
