I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
