my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
