how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
