His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
