Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
