He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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