come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
