No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
