Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
