take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
